Final Fantasy XIV: A New Beginning
Chapter 14a: The Inescapable Fate
Narration: On the small island of La Noscea, three would be pirates begin their training with none other the Legendary Pirate himself. Onias’ methods are more boot camp style and one Miqo’te is less than pleased. Not far, the Miqo’te pirate Death Lok watches on to hoping for a bit of entertainment.
Death Lok: Hmph….this is sure to be good.
Let’s see what you got kitten.
Onias: Alright, listen up ye land-dwelling, dog sniffing scally wags, the three of ye have been under the impression that ye’ve been a group reavin’, drinkin’ and whorin’ pirates ‘eh? Well guess what? Ye’re not!! Ye’re be nothing, but a group of amateur imitators that couldn’t even pick a fly off the bottom of his own bleedin’ boots!
Narration: Silver grinds her teeth and clinches her fists as she listens to Onias talk. Unable to stomach his lecture, Silver pulls out a small bottle of ale and begins drinking it…..
Silvermane: Just who the hell does this guy think he is?! Ah, nothing like a nice bottle of ale to drown out some of me worsts problems.
Narration: ……..or so she though.
Onias: Kitten!! Just what in the name of Vylbrand do ye think yer doing?
Silvermane: What do ye think I’m doing?! I’m indulging and being a reavin’, drinkin’, whorin’ bloody fricking pirate….that’s what I’m doing!
Narration: Onias walks up to SIlver and takes the bottle of ale from her. He then turns the bottle upside down and pours out the remaining ale. Silver however is less than pleased and begins throwing a tantrum.
Silvermane: Whaaa!!!! Why’d the hells ye go and do that?!!
That was me last bottle of ale.
Onias: Ye got something right kitten, that is and will be ye last bottle of ale. As long as ye sail with me, there will be no drinkin’, reavin’, nor whorin’ on me ship understood?
Narration: Silvermane once again screams and then drops to the ground and whilst on her knees, begins to lick the ground in an attempt to take in the last bit of ale before it drys up.
Onias: Now isn’t this a side sight for me sore eyes.
Kitten, I think it’s time to admit that ye have a drinkin problem.
Silvermane: Mmm…..drinkin problem….mmmm….my foot…..old man!
Narration: Wedge then walks over and tires to help Silver regain her composure, but Silver is none the less than welcoming.
Wedge: Ma’am…I’d hate to say it, but ye need to get a hold of yerself. Yer embarrassing yerself…and Biggs and I as well.
Silvermane: Who gives a flying hoot about you two or that stinkin’ old man?! I just needs me ale!
Biggs: Oh…oh….I got it!
Wedge, how’s about we admit the Cap’n to our very own version of alcoholics anonymous?
Wedge: Ye know what Biggs? That’s the smartest thing I’ve heard from ye since I’ve known ye.
Biggs: Compliment noted.
Narration: Silver continues to lick ground while mumbling to herself.
Silvermane: The hell’s they talking about, I don’t need no stinkin’ intervention, especially from those two.
Narration: Onias, walks over to Silver and stoops down beside her.
Onias: Ye know, I’d be lying if I’d said ye were right, but the truth is you need help. I mean look at ye, Yer on the ground…on your knees none the less and licking up ale off it. God only knows what the wharf rats, the lost lambs and the chocos have done.
Narration: Silver then stops and begins spitting and trying to clean out her mouth. Both Biggs and Wedge come over and help Silver up.
Silvermane: Oh god!! My mouth!!! Pfft…Pfft
Wedge: It’s okay Ma’am, just come with us. Wedge and I will help ye get better.
Narration: Suddenly, Biggs, Wedge, and Silver are gathered around the fire at Camp Bearded Rock. The three stand there and as Wedge begins the intervention, Onias looks on silently.
Wedge: Welcome everyone to Biggs and Wedge’s Alcoholics Anonymous. Today we have our very own Ma’am, Captain….
Onias: <clears throat>
Wedge: I mean…Ms. SIlvermane.
Silvermane: Grr…the nerve of that old man…denying me my title of Captain.
Biggs: Now Ms, why don’t you introduce yerself to everyone?
Silvermane: Wedge just did ye stinking idiot!!
Wedge: Now now Ma’am, no need for name calling. Now please if ye will, tell everyone who ye are and why yer here?
My name is Silvermane and….
Biggs: Um…Ms. Silver, you have to start with Hi my name is.
Narration: Silver grows highly impatient and yells at Biggs.
Silvermane: Shut and let me do this while I’m still in a good mood.
Biggs: Wow, and I thought she was in a bad one.
Silvermane: Now, where was I?
Ah, okay, Hi, my name is Silvermane and I’m….I’m….I’m….an alcoholic.
Narration: After watching Silver struggle to admit her alcoholism, Biggs and Wedge applaud as she finally comes to terms with her ordeal…or so they thought.
Wedge: That’s good Ma’am.
See, now we’re making process.
The first part of solving and problem is admitting that you have a problem.
Now if you would, why are you an acoholic?
Silvermane: I’m an alcoholic because….because….because……OH GOD i CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! BADERON!!!!
Narration: Unable to fight her addiction any longer, Silver high tails it back to the Drowning Wench in Limsa for some of Baderon’s finest ale. Onias holds his head, takes a deep breath and then sends Biggs and Wedge to retrieve.
Wedge: Ma’am, wait up! It isn’t good for ye!!
Onias: Looks like this is going to be a long day.